All my sex worker friends

Ah, blog commenters.

Recently, I wrote a post at this other blog I write for about Erotica LA, which was back in June. In case you've never heard of it, Erotica LA is a convention where all things adult can come together and be as one. Porn stars, adult film companies, folks who sell stripper poles and clothes, all kinds of exotic whathaveyou. And of course, the convention is Ground Zero for porn fans and strip club afficianados.

So, picture it (or just go look at it). My post consisted of pictures "from the woman's point of view," since that's the way I was (unfortunately) tasked with covering it, and so I put up the real woman's point of view: pictures of the ogling dudes and the cameras they came in with.

Well, no sooner do I post it than I get the inevitable comment about the event: "it was kind of sad and creepy."

Aaaaaahhhhhhhh. Peeeeet Peeeeeeeeve!!!! Because really, ladies? We all know what "sad and creepy" means in this context, right? "Sad and creepy" means, so sad for the women who have to resort to this, because it's so creepy to have these kinds of men ogle you. It always comes from someone who doesn't work in the sex world, and it's always accompanied with a disdainful snort. So I shot back with something about how I didn't appreciate the comment, and that maybe it was her problem, not the people working the convention.

I left myself wide open for it, I guess, but still, I have to admit that I didn't see it coming. hidsight is always 20/20. Her response: "people I know who have worked in porn or strip clubs say you kind of get desensitized to it."

Riiiiiiight. People you know who have worked there. Kind of like my black and gay friends. I'm inclusive, too! I don't judge either! I have FRIENDS who have worked there. Way to pull out the trump card.

Unfortuantely, though, instead of trumping her myself with "well, as a former person who worked in a strip club..." I just let it go. Partly because the old who-has-more-first-person-insight one-upping game really grinds my gears and I find it impossible to engage in without coming across as a total douchebag, but also, honestly, partly because I didn't really want to out myself. So what I'm wondering is, when is the right time, and what is the right way? As I've said before, there doesn't ever seem to be a good moment to say, "I'm a stripper." Or even, "I was a stripper." So in trying to mesh my two worlds, what I find myself doing instead is tiptoeing around the issue -- alluding to the Big Secret, without ever actually shooting it squarely in the heart.