Tougher than I will ever be

J. is Israeli, like a lot of the girls who work here, from a completely different world. She's tiny, with long, straight blond hair, a sharp face, and unforgiving eyes. I never talked to her much, have no idea what brought her out here.

We were all in the dressing room, Carina sitting in the corner and starting to cry.

"What's wrong with you?" J. asks her.

"I don't know. My life used to be so good, everything used to be fine..." Carina has tears rolling down her cheeks now. She's still in her street clothes, her bleached hair undone and her face fresh.

"Don't cry," says J. "You can't do anything about it right now." She's lacing up her ankle-high yellow boots, watching herself in the mirror as she speaks. "Stop crying. Go have a drink, you'll feel better. Forget about it for tonight. Tomorrow morning, you wake up, start looking for something else. But don't think about it now. Go get a drink."

Carina sniffles, wipes her face and begins to rummage through her bag. J. goes back to lacing up her boots.

Two nights later, J. is talking to someone at the beginning of a shift.

"I don't know what I'm going to do," she's saying. "I can't wear any of my outfits. I guess I'll have to wear this." She holds up a teddy-type number that falls to mid-ass, as she simultaneously lifts her shirt. In the mirror's reflection I see her stomach, which is covered in huge, fresh scars from just below her breasts clear across her belly button.

I look away.

Later that night, I tell her I like her outfit. It's cute - the same short black teddy, with red undies peeking out from below and knee-high red leather boots.

"Oh, thanks. You know why I'm wearing it, right?"

"Something happened to your stomach?"

"Yes. I spilled a whole pot of boiling coffee on myself a few days ago." She doesn't flinch, just glances up at me from her seat.

"Holy shit, that must have hurt." I'm looking right at her in the mirror.

"It did. It still hurts."

"Did you go to the hospital or anything?" For this, being the hypochondriac that I tend to be, I would have dialed 911.

"No, don't be silly. It's just a burn. There's nothing the hospital could have done. A few hours after it happened, I went to the pharmacy and they gave me some aloe. It will be fine."